When I kissed you
by Love-above-all-else
Summary: [The locker room kiss from Lydia's p.o.v.] Just imagine it with 'The Start Of Time' playing as well...


'Stiles!', I urged him to speak, his panic seeping through to me and overtaking my thoughts, 'Stiles, speak to me! What's going on - tell me how I can help!

I grabbed his arm and searched the corridor, trying desperately to think of what to do, maybe get him to a quieter place, but he continued to heave heavily and take gasps with the sheer look of terror in his eyes. I had no idea what to do, let alone what the best way to deal with a panic attack was, but I carried on racking my brains to come up with an idea as I dragged him along to somewhere in no particular direction. Just as I was about to shout for someone, anyone to help or whip out my phone to call 911, I caught sight of the girls' locker room. _Damn it_ , there weren't really any other options and I glanced back at Stiles so made my decision and pulled him in with me.

'Come on, Stiles - you're okay - quickly! Come sit down on the floor here...' He stumbled into the room as I let go of him arm and he fell against one of the lockers to the floor. I get down next to him and crouch, getting onto my knees and leaning forward as he still struggles for breath, my heart hammering against my chest as I search his face for any signs on what to do.

'Just try to think of something else... anything else.', I carry on talking in the hope of calming him down.

He just looks at me in desperation, 'Like what?!'

'Uh- think of good things, happy things', I pause. 'Friends... family!-'

I mentally slap myself as I realise the bad timing and correct the mistake. '-Uhh, not family! Oh god...', I take a different approach, ' Okay, just... try to translate your breathing.'

His breathing doesn't get any better, and he looks up at me, forehead sweaty and creased with concentration. I grimace, shifting so I can take his cheek in my hand and look into his eyes.

'Shhh... Shh, Stiles, look at me!', I shush him again, 'Stiles...', I feel myself being drawn to him, not understanding what exactly my face is doing so close to his, looking into his eyes in desperation and letting myself go with it as by now I'm willing to try anything. In the frustration of not being able to do something, a split-second urge overrides my mind and I find myself almost in silent slow-motion, leaning towards him knowing that this could work somehow. The focus of my urge blocks out any other sounds or distractions, and my mind goes blankly white. At the last moment Stiles' eyes widen, and I kiss him straight on the mouth, hands crushing both of his cheeks.

-All goes silent and black, and I sense Stiles breathe sharply through his nose, as I do the same, still gripping the sides of his head like I'll never let go. The sudden shock from the intensity of the kiss and the closeness of Stiles' face fades away, and I feel the sound of fireworks going off in my head surface from beneath the silence. I let myself kiss him again with the same, if not stronger intensity, and my eyelids flicker as I then pull away.

Eyes still closed, forehead creased in the moment, I freeze, all the breath sucked from my lungs. I feel a light breath from opposite me softly tickle the hair near my neck as I slowly open my eyes, hands held in front of me and they flicker to his, hazel-speckled brown. They wonder straight back at mine, flickering and mapping the look on my own face, which is still frozen in shock. Stiles lets out a slow and wavering breath, the dazed expression revealing the speechlessness mirrored in my own response. His sigh carries on and I try to regain composure but remain winded by the impact

'...H-hhow d-did you do that?', my heart stutters and I force myself to breathe with my lungs, and a moment of silence passes before I finally respond.

'I -Uh...', something pops into my head and I go with it, 'I, uh, read once that... holding your breath can help stop a panic attack.' He faintly nods as I carry on, 'So...', I take another breath and half lick my lips, 'when I kissed you, you held your breath.'

Stiles softly blinks and lets out a quiet response.

'I did?'

I start nodding quietly, a soft smile appearing on my lips,

'Yeah...' I half whisper, 'You did.' A slight tear prickles the corner of my eye.

'Thanks.' He presses his lips together and swallows, smiling faintly with his soft eyes and tilting his head slightly, 'That was really smart.'

Shocked, I let out a short, quiet, laugh. Trying to think, I bite my lip and shift my weight, and Stiles follows by doing the same.

'I just... I dunno - I just read it somewhere...' I fist the air and continue steadily. 'And - if I were really smart, I would tell you to sign up for a few sessions with the guidance counsellor.'

His eyes switch back and forth between me and the floor, and the familiar sense of our friendship starts to return.


End file.
